Some Indecently Good Defending

In the eye of the storm, it takes a man of great composure to remain calm. Vauxhall witnessed that man this week. James Gallagher is possibly the calmest man alive. Nothing can get under his skin.

Most captains would be rattled by a baying mob chanting ‘Gallagher Out!’. Yet our man ignored the fact that Milner’s hardcore supporters were baying for his head after last week’s calamitous loss. Gallagher was unfazed as police cleared a path to the dugout, refusing to flinch as bottles and bricks were hurled by irate fans.

Then again, it might be easier to be calm if you know that Wor JJ Thompson will start to dig you out of your hole within two minutes of the kick off. Milner’s number 9 is normally known for his unselfish hold up play, courage and tireless running. But his lethal finishing caught Something Decent cold within moments, as he rifled a stunning strike home after some great build up play.

Something Decent are an inherently dislikeable side. It would be quite accurate to describe at least one of their players as suffering from chronic NBPE (Not Been Punched Enough, a tragic medical condition, which fortunately is very treatable). But however much we dislike them, they are not mugs. They can pass a ball well, and sometimes even fancy themselves to have a dribble. Against any other side, that might have worked.

But Milner Street defending is of too high a standard to concede to their village attacking. If you want to get the ball past Beech, Gallagher and Neville, you are going to need to have more about you than Something Decent offered. Wave after wave of attacks foundered, bushwacked by one or other of the heroes in white.

A moment of magic from the Artist Formerly Known As Fred pushed the lead out 2-0. A sparkling burst from Neville gave Fred the ball on the edge of the box. As the keeper came rushing out, Fred backheeled the ball into the bottom corner. The effect was somewhat spoiled by George and Fred running around shouting out ‘Claret! Claret!’ like morons after the goal. At least, we think that was what they were shouting.

Lads. We get it. You both have signet rings and are gammon-in-training, but we won’t actually give you claret during a match. Not even if you are related to each other.

Another Fred stunner put it at 3-1. But as halftime approached, tragedy struck. Wor JJ rolled his ankle, leaving Milner without a sub. The second half then turned into a battle of attrition, with the famous Milner grit pitted against the savage fouling of Something Decent. If a Milner ankle remained unkicked, it was not through a lack of effort.

Two factors stood out. Tom Grew was indomitable in midfield, harrying the enemy one minute, then offering creativity and space the next. Grew does not get enough coverage in these pages – goalscorers naturally gain many of the headlines. Yet his contribution cannot be overstated. Consistency, discipline and great passing, added to the odd wonder goal really do deserve more recognition than they get.

The other was Gallagher’s zen like calm. Despite being the target of egregious foul play, not a word of protest passed his lips. He played solely to the whistle, never taking his eye off the ball and marshalling the defence in a true captain’s style. Indeed, as an admiring opponent commented, JGal embodied the spirit of the game.

The final score: 5-2 and three more points. One step closer to glory boys.