Milner Street! What Is Your Profession?

The mind games started early this week. When asked why the Big White Machine are top of the league, captain James Gallagher seemed to be on another planet. ‘Aroo! Aroo Aroo!’ he shouted. The third estate were left non-plussed. What did Gallagher mean?

But all became clear the moment the whistle blew. Up against the amusingly named ‘Something Decent’, Milner Street put up the best defensive performance since 300 Spartans mulched 300,000 Persian wetters at Thermopylae.

The possession stats must have looked horrendous. Something Decent passed, and passed, and passed, and passed. And passed some more. But like hoplites, Milner Street held formation, crushing any danger and forcing the enemy back. Something Decent simply could not break them down. The defending was perfect. The two strikers blocked the killer pass through the middle, forcing the ball wide. The wide men were immediately closed down. The defence marked the runners, covered the space behind the strikers, and clattered anyone foolish enough to get past the first defensive line. It was clockwork, a metronomic dream-killing machine.

If an unstoppable force meets an immovable object the result is stalemate. But when a bang average force meets an immovable object, the result is that the bang average force is crushed 8-1. Defensive solidity provided the platform for attacking flair. The Artist Formerly Known as Fred cracked in the first, a left footed sparkler which for most would be a seasonal highlight. For Freddie, they happen every week. Two more were to follow. Gallagher did the usual, jiving through defenders to add his own contributions. George Neville returned to the scoresheet after a lengthy absence, a just reward for an evening of defensive dominance and unselfish creativity.

Commiserations must also go to JJ, cruelly denied twice: once when a cunning shot off the cage went in off the keeper for an OG, the second when losing a shoulder battle when through on goal. Fortunately for the Ade Akinbiyi of Milner Street, the defender kicked the ball into his own net after seeing off JJ’s less-than-impressive challenge. Nevertheless, his contribution in defence and attack was invaluable, and, in fairness, shoulders aren’t really JJ’s thing.

Hats off to the Milner Street. Every single bit of momentum for Something Decent was strangled, every counter-attack was precise and clinical. Bryson summed it up for the press after the game: ‘We’re top of the league. We don’t take a step back. If people want to get three points from us – well. Molon labe, boys. Molon labe.’