Manning Up: Milner Street Mix It In Division 1

It isn’t easy making the step up to the big leagues. Blackpool, Barnsley, Swindon – massive clubs who found that the promised land of the top division was, in reality, just 38 fixtures wandering in the desert.

But from the attitude of Milner Street ahead of their first ever game in Division 1, you’d never guess that a promoted team might struggle. The Men in White have bossed two divisions and two cup competitions this year. Captain James Gallagher continued the tone with a bolshy pre-match interview. ‘Do a Leicester? Are you kidding me? They took two years to win the Premier League after being promoted!’ Gallagher instead pointed to Brian Clough’s Nottingham Forest as the beau ideal of promoted teams. ‘Win the League at the first time of asking. Set a record for games unbeaten. Two European Cups. Sorry, Nottingham who? I’m just laying out our plans for the season.’

In true Clough style, Milner Street showed their class within the first few minutes of their Division 1 odyssey. Despite going one-nil down, their passing was crisp and the defensive shape solid. 2-1 to Manning FC was a slightly harsh scoreline at halftime.

After the break, different story. Manning came third in the league last season. You’d never have guessed from the tonking they just got. Gallagher, the Fred, and George Neville started whacking the goals in mercilessly. Particular highlights were Gallagher’s quick-fire double (of four on the night) at the start of the second half, and the Beech nutmeg assist for Freddie’s finish. Gallagher’s double were identical, short, sharp dribbles past two defenders followed by a clinical finish. You’d think that for the second, Manning would have worked out the drill, but to quote Yogi Berra, it was déjà vu all over again. After scoring two games in a row, Beech seems on a mission to transform himself from jobbing right back to cultured playmaker. On an overlapping run (Beech? overlapping run?), he nutmegged his marker, squaring the ball to an onrushing Wilkinson. As Freddie later informed the goalkeeper, the shot was on target.

Highlights, however, don’t do justice to the team effort involved in the 10-5 win. Milner Street battered them second half, a performance built on skill, teamwork and flogging tired bodies to maintain formation. The millennial culture of ‘prizes for everyone’ is rightly to be derided, but the whole team was genuinely in with a shout of man of the match.

Shove the comedy for one week, fellas. We’re in the top division and sticking it to them.