Disaster

James Gallagher’s long march continues. So near and yet so far. After his reviled transfer policy was in part vindicated by two stunning wins, Milner Street seemed on the up, 5 points clear of the chasing pack. Gallagher had even managed to heal rifts with the club’s notorious hooligan firm, after a record fee was paid to repatriate fan favourite George Gould from the clutches of hated rivals GT5. Despite being subject to a football banning order, Phoebe Neville, the notorious leader of the Milner Headhunters, proclaimed herself well pleased with the move, and declared that she was looking forward to more trophies to adorn Moovere’s mantelpiece. This may have been a witty aside, but we are unsure: Gould is rumoured to be the only member of the team that Phoebe considers fit enough to grace the Vauxhall turf.

Yet it is at moments of triumph that the seeds of disaster are sown. Against hated rivals Stevo Rangers, the Big White Machine stuttered and ultimately, stalled.

To make room on the wage bill, Fred and JB were absent. Initially, it seemed like the lads had coped with their absence. After conceding a sloppy opener, a smart Gallagher strike brought the teams on level terms. Milner stretched the lead out to 3-1, before lacklustre goalkeeping from Beech left the scores at 3-3 at the break.

It was then that it all went wrong. Stevo banged in four in the space of four minutes, in the most abject display of defending ever seen at Vauxhall. A combination of poor communication between Beech and Gallagher, limp tackling from the centre halves, shocking positioning from Neville in goal, and a lack of cohesion and defensive organisation from the team a whole cost Milner three points.

Sports writing is great when it is all going swimmingly well. It is less fun to have to record the lows. Suffice to say that once the score got 8-3 to Stevo, the game was pretty dead. Nevertheless, the men in white showed some pride. Gallagher and Gould never stopped trying to unlock the Stevo defence with trickery and guile. Grew battled manfully in the breach, winning the ball back and keeping the team in the match. JJ scrapped and pressed, as Neville returned to his usual quality in attack and defence.

Little by little, Milner dragged themselves back into the match. Though Stevo never looked like losing, 8-7 is lot more respectable than 8-3. The Powerleague website says 9-6, but that’s bollocks. 8-7, and we’ll draw the positives from the last ten minutes. There should be a homegrown players rule anyway.